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FREAKING OUT!!!
ser44 Nov 5 2005, 11:36 PM Post #1
Hi again, ok, reading some of these posts are giving me seriuos doubts!!! We
have 2 boys, 2 1/2, and 11 months. I would NEVER forgive myself if something
ever happened to them (abuse). I need some serious reassurance that my kids
will be ok. I don't want to take his job, and be on edge every second thinking
something bad is going to happen to them. Also, how the heck is my 2 year old
supposed to adjust? All of a sudden he goes from his happy little life with
mommy and daddy and baby brother to his world being turned upside down. I
believe that we can really make a difference, but don't your biological kids
need to be your first priority? How can we possibly give them the attention
that they need at such a young age, and also be effective houseparents??? Part
of me thinks this would be a great way to help make a difference, but part of
me thinks we would be getting in way over our heads. What will my 2 year old
think/feel if a kid freaks out on me and starts cursing me out right in front
of him? I would think he would be so scared! Anyone who can give me some
thoughts on their experiences on how their young children adjusted would help!!
CaringCouple Nov 6 2005, 12:02 AM Post #2
You had 9 months to prepare him for the arrival of his baby brother.
It will most likely be quite an adjustment for a young child to have to see his
"family" explode in size overnight and his "mommy" and "daddy" all of a sudden
sharing their time with others.
Personally. I would not consider being a House Parent if I still had children
at home.
That's just me though.
webmaster Nov 6 2005, 10:18 PM Post #3
My children have basically grown up in residential childcare. They have done
much better in basic care than they did when we were in Behavior Modification.
Even in B--mod there was only one time I was at all concerned with their safety
and that was more me than the situation.
Having done both types of childcare, I prefer basic care with our children, but
I have seen several families that do just fine in Therapeutic care.
Spend as much time as you can visiting the home and ask lots of questions. Be
specific about concerns that you have with your children.
As far as our children adjusting to residential life, there was no problem. In
fact, we got out for a while and they wanted to go back. Having grown up in
residential care, they prefer it. Additionally we are able to spend more time
with them and do more things with them than we could in a more traditional
employment situation.
Hope this helps.
Make sure you follow your heart. If you are in doubt about the situation when
you start, you most likely will bale the first time it gets really tough and
that wouldn't be good for you or the children you are caring for. It would be
better not to start in the first place.
momof10 Nov 9 2005, 12:32 PM Post #4
my kids are 2 years old and 8 months and my 2yo LOVES being at work. She loves
to "see the boys" and is kinda bored when it is just her family at home. She
has 8 big brothers to dote on her all the time. There are some adjustments but
overall, I think it makes life fun for my kids.
Hope it works out!
frlking Nov 21 2005, 10:20 PM Post #5
We have two girls and one on the way-we are just fine-gotta be careful that you
dont have the US and THEM attitude. If you take the job you have to go into the
job thinking it as a lifestyle change. This is going to be your lifestyle-you
will need to incorporate your kids into the program.
12 Year Veteran Nov 27 2005, 09:12 PM Post #6
QUOTE
I would NEVER forgive myself if something ever happened to them (abuse). I need
some serious reassurance that my kids will be ok. I don't want to take his job,
and be on edge every second thinking something bad is going to happen to them.
Also, how the heck is my 2 year old supposed to adjust? All of a sudden he goes
from his happy little life with mommy and daddy and baby brother to his world
being turned upside down. I believe that we can really make a difference, but
don't your biological kids need to be your first priority? How can we possibly
give them the attention that they need at such a young age, and also be
effective houseparents??? Part of me thinks this would be a great way to help
make a difference, but part of me thinks we would be getting in way over our
heads
Personally if these are thoughts that are really troubling your mind, then your
best to not get into houseparenting at this time. No facility anywhere can give
you a gaurantee that your own kids will never have somthing happen to them.
Kids in care come from many different backgrounds and your going to encounter
alot of things if you stay in childcare. Have We (my wife and I) ever
encountered the problems in our longevity...absolutely. I had my wife remove
our kids to our quarters while I delt with the kids in the cottage.
If you have doubts don't get into it..wait..there is nothing wrong with waiting
till your ready. Lord knows I've seen many people start with good intensions
and real want to..but they were not totally ready to take on the lifestyle and
they quit shortly after beginning.
prsthelrd Nov 29 2005, 05:20 PM Post #7
I have been a houseparent for almost 8 years. I have been at my present home
for almost 5. I have a daughter that is 16 months old. One thing I always
remember that God loves her more than I do and that if he directs me to do
something that he has a plan that even if I do not understand He does. Just tie
into a support system
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