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New, negative remarks from friends/family

dan&Jenn Oct 17 2005, 10:03 AM Post #1

Hi, my husband and I just had an interview yesterday in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan for a parent/teacher live in. All went well and after a background check and clearences seems a go. My question is, did many of you get negative responses from people, family and friends about what you were going to do. Expecially if you have children of your own, and if so how do you respond?
I am really hurt at how people come back with nasty comments about what your going to do (even a church member made some nasty remarks, like "if it was me I'd think real hard about how this will effect your children, did you really think this out good, etc etc). I mean come on, why do people have to come back with negativity and doubt? My family (My mom and dad, grandmother and brother plus his wife and daughter are all that I really have as family) already are 2 hours away from us, I did not tell anyone about our interview because I knew how they would react. They are the type that belive family needs to stay within 30 miles of eachother, visits every weekend all holidays spent together etc. Well I told my mother today what we were going to be doing, her reaction is "well I'M not happy about that at all, this means I will NEVER get to see my grandkids. Can you even handle a job like this. I don't think your making good decisions......" My husband and I believe strongly this is what God is calling us to do, yes its a MAJOR change and will be very hard work. But 1st of all this is OUR life and what WE want. Does anyone have good responses on handling the negativity? For me its hard because I always have tried to please my parents (gee stayed married the first time only so I would not hurt their feelings going through a divorce). What do you say to people when you tell them what your going to be doing?
Sorry so long, just really frustrated and we have not even got a defiante yes yet. Also I did not tell my mom that if they say yes they want us in the UP by Oct. 31st for 2 weeks training. Decided to leave that one out

gracecountry62 Oct 17 2005, 12:34 PM Post #2

hang in there your not alone our family and friends do the same thing to us when ever we have an opportunity to be house Parents, they say things like so you are leaving us , I will not get to see my grand kids at all now ,are you sure this ids what you are supposed to do or a great one like you know it gets colder there than it does here.
Some times people may mean well but they could get into your way and Hinder what the Lord is calling you to do, satan will use even family members and those very close to you to hinder and try to cause obstacles in your path but do not listen to anything but Gods call they will get over it eventially they always do .it is just shaking some foundations up if these people would open up their hearts to what God is wanting to do they would be much to their suprise what God wants them to do it usuallly shakens a persons comfort zone.
You are on the right track follow yalls hearts and let it lead you and not people.

We will keep you in our prayers

dan&Jenn Oct 17 2005, 01:36 PM Post #3

Thanks, glad to here others here the same thing. Yes I heard the You know it gets REAL cold and TONS of snow in the U.P. Well yeah duh, there is also less people, the air is so clean and fresh, with tons of opportunities for our outdoor life we love so much. My girls thought it would be awesome to take kids fishing and camping if they have never gone. Anyway, thankyou made me feel a lot better.
Jenn

webmaster Oct 18 2005, 07:26 AM Post #4

When we first became houseparents, many of our friends thought we were joining a cult because houseparenting is a lifestyle not a job. When we told them about it and what it entailed they became suspicious.

Our family was fairly supportive. I only see my mother about every 3-5 years anyway, because I moved far away when I was young and can't afford to drive 3,000 miles round trip all the time. We talk by phone when we can, and send cards.

As far as how you handle it, I would say you need to follow your heart. But, you also have to be 100% committed to being a houseparent if that is what you choose to do. If you are not committed, the first time things get tough, and they will, you will most likely call it quits. I have seen it happen several times.

CaringCouple Nov 6 2005, 12:04 AM Post #5

My biological children showed quite a bit of jealousy as well as some resentment that I could take time for "strangers" that I was always too busy to spend with them because of my work.

My mother simply thought we were nuts.

We worked through it all though.
 

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