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Is This For Me?
Rachel Aug 27 2005, 05:31 PM Post #1
Hello.
I discovered this website last night when God laid upon my heart the
possibility of being a house parent. This whole idea is new to me, as I had not
even considered it until yesterday. I'm hoping that some of you can help me
sort some things out. (I apologize that this will be a long posting)
First of all, let me say that I am a 21 year old college senior. I am unmarried
and do not see that condition changing anytime soon. (I have read that there
are some positions for single houseparents, correct?)
My degree is in Public Relations/Speech Communications but have increasingly
realized that I do not desire a fast-paced, deadline-centered lifestyle. I am
confident that God has called me to be a wife and a mother, but it seems He
intends to bring that about sometime in the future.
I am now faced with the decision of what I am to do with my life until which
time God changes things. While a professional career has always been my assumed
goal in life (and one that I wanted at one time) I do not want that any more.
Over the past year or so, God has given me a passion for children from broken
homes, or no home at all. I am about to become a Big in the Big Brothers Big
Sisters program. (My interview is monday, wish me luck!)
Yesterday I was asking God for his guidance and out of nowhere the thought came
to me "why not find work at a children's home?" I began researching and found
that there is a children's home in the city I will move to upon graduation.
My mind has not quite wrapped around this possibility yet, but I can see myself
as doing this and loving it. I asked my friends if they could see me working in
this capacity and they said they certainly could. I know, of course, that it
would be the most challenging, emotionally draining thing I could ever do. But
what an incredible opportunity! It breaks my heart that there are children in
this world that have never known love or caring. (My maternal instinct kicked
in about 10 years before all of my friends...I'm a bit of a freak in my circles
)
I am not sure if I have any specific questions. For the most part, I would just
appreciate any input on this occupation and you opinion on whether it might be
an option for me even though I've never had specific training in
childcare-related issues.
Also, the children's home that I mentioned earlier is currently advertising for
a youth counselor. Although the position will certainly be filled by the time I
graduate, would anyone be able to tell me what that would entail? Once again,
do you need a certain degree or any other mandatory education to do something
of that nature?
I apologize for the length!
Rachel
webmaster Aug 27 2005, 07:22 PM Post #2
First of all let me say that working in this field will probably be the most
frustrating/rewarding thing you ever do. Many will tell you that you are too
young to do this however there are becoming more and more positions available
for young singles. more and more facilities are moving away from married live
in couples and going to shift work or single teams (Usually in the more
theraputic facilities).
Most facilities prefer that you have a degree or experience in human services
but will in most cases accept somebody willing to learn. If you are looking for
reading material in the mean time there are some good books to read, several of
which I have reviews for on the main website.
One thing you may want to do is some volunteer work at a facility or an
internship. This will give you some good experience and give you a chance to
see what it is like in a childrens home. It will either confirm for you that
you want to do it or will totally scare you away. In the second case it is
better to find out in a volunteer situation than a live in situation where kids
will be hurt by your leaving.
I hope this answers some of your questions I am sure others will have much more
to say.
wycouple Aug 29 2005, 10:31 PM Post #3
You are doing an important thing in listening to God and His call on your life.
Some agencies may tell you that you are too young or need more experience, but
not all places will tell you that.
I personally started out over 3 years ago right out of college at the age of 21
and I was also single. I worked directly in the house alongside houseparents
(sometimes married and sometimes 2 single people), more as a big sister role to
the kids. The facility that I worked for was great in training new staff, which
was important as I had a lot to learn and grow in my childcare skills. I worked
more in a therapeutic residential setting for troubled teenagers rather than
abuse/neglect situations.
Through the ministry, I met my future husband and we were married a year and a
half ago and now we are houseparents at a different facility.
From my own experience, I think it is definitely easier to be a houseparent
assistant or relief, or whatever other term the facitity uses when you are
single. The dynamic of working closely with another single person as
"houseparents" can be a little strange, but I know people that make it work and
are amazing at what they do.
Every facility is different in its education requirements. Some require degrees
and some don't. I personally have a degree in Social Work, and my husband does
not have a degree.
God Bless you and Guide you as you pursue Him and His plans.
Rachel Aug 30 2005, 06:46 PM Post #4
Thank you for all responses. I am both excited and somewhat apprehensive about
this possibility, but am trying to keep an open mind towards whatever God has
in store for me. There are two facilities in the city I will be living in a
year from now, one a home for children of both sexes, while another is strictly
for girls 12-17 -- both are run by the same organization. I plan to visit there
during Christmas break and see whether there would be an opportunity for me to
serve.
My hope is to volunteer or work as an assistant until I have the necessary
experience and knowledge to make a firm decision.
Would anyone recommend calling them and asking in advance whether they have
requirements, etc., or just waiting until I can talk to them face to face?
Rachel
sandylegsntoes Sep 3 2005, 12:36 PM Post #5
Racheal,
It's a real blessing when we discern what God has put in our heart. Consider
yourself blessed because most people stumble around for years, not knowing.
One of my favorite Bible verses is 2 Corinthians 5:7 Walk by faith and not by
sight.
If you have faith in the calling, keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Let nothing distract you from the calling. By sight financial problems,
emtional problems, relationship problems will try to steal your joy in finding
God's Will and to prevent you from carrying it out.
We have to know the Will of God for our life. To do this, we need to know God,
have a relationship with Him. How do we do this? Through not only reading His
Word, but also, memorizing it! Keeping it in our heart for when we need it,
when doubt and confusion comes along pecking at our heals.
Also, ask God for the gift of discernment...there are many gifts listed in the
Bible and one of them is discernment. This will help so much in working with
children.
When you have time, please let us know how your life is unfolding in beauty and
in service to God. Time is short, stay busy for Him!
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
Lean not on your own understanding
In all your ways acknowledge Him
and
He will make your paths straight!
found in Proverbs...do you know where? Giggle giggle.
Peace,
Linda S
Rachel Sep 4 2005, 06:28 PM Post #6
Proverbs 3:5 &6 Ironically, I read those verses in my devotions this morning. I
wonder if God is trying to make a point? haha. The next verse I also have
underlined, verse 7: "Do not be wise in your own eyes." I am trying so hard to
not run into this, foolishly thinking that I know what is best or that I know
exactly what God's will is for me.
I appreciate the encouraging words from everyone. I found the email address of
someone who works at the children's home I am interested in. (Oh, the glory of
the World Wide Web) and am composing an email to her. I'm not quite sure what
to say....I want to tell her that I may not be the most qualified person she'll
ever meet, but she couldn't find anyone who would be more devoted....but I
suppose I should save my passionate soliloquy for a face-to-face meeting.
Right, I just need to make contact.
So wish me luck. I am travelling to Kentucky over Christmas break to visit
family, and hope to have an opportunity to visit the facility and talk to some
people there.
Lady Incredible Sep 6 2005, 01:52 PM Post #7
Good Luck!
Let us know how everything turns out...
Erica Sep 12 2005, 02:31 PM Post #8
Rachel,
I too have recently stumbled upon this idea as a career. I thought I was the
only wierd single senior in college who found at the last minute a potential
career that seems to be directly from God. The replies on this post have been
encouraging to me as well.
Keep me updated on your search, I am interested in how this process will work
for someone else in my position.
Erica
Rachel Sep 12 2005, 08:26 PM Post #9
Erica,
So nice to hear that I'm not alone. I had kind of a shaky weekend concerning
this search, as for a moment I thought that maybe God was trying to tell me it
was all a mistake and this wasn't a career for me. You see, my roommate has a
lot of issues that most of us work through in our teenage years and things kind
of came to a head this weekend. I was almost at a breaking point where I just
couldn't DEAL with anymore.
I told my best friend that this must be God putting a hold on this, until she
reminded me that the part that was most frustrating me is that my roommate is
in her late 20s. I can handle immaturity in people who are supposed to be
immature, but in someone who is almost 6 years older than me?
Anyway, it all turned out ok. I had a nice long vent talk with my mother and
I'm feeling better about the situation and can be sensative and patient again.
Plus, I've talked her into going to see a counselor, so that's good.
So, I haven't abandoned it. It scared me for a bit though....I've been so sure
that this is what God is calling me to, and it was bad to think maybe I was
wrong.
This weekend I'm participating in an outreach to a local girl's shelter. I'm
excited about it.
I hope your week goes well!
Rachel
p.s. on a side note, isn't senior year awful? Maybe its just because I know I'm
almost done, but I have absolutely NO motivation to do anything.
Rachel Sep 15 2005, 07:42 PM Post #10
Like I said in my last post, I was sort of wondering whether my active
imagination made up my "calling" from God. I began to think (perhaps prompted
by Satan) that maybe I couldn't hack it. Maybe I was just fooling myself, or
trying to avoid a "professional" job. Maybe I would just be awful at it!
Well, God is amazing. Last night I was struggling and a friend came in. Now,
although she is a good friend, she is also very truthful and blunt and always
tells me the truth whether I like it or not. I don't even know how we got on
the subject but she said something to the effect of, "Rachel, you are MADE to
work with kids...I thought so before, but when I saw you meet my sisters (ages
11 and 14) I was sure. The way you talked to them and the way they responded;
I've never seen them attach themselves to anyone so quickly."
It blessed me so much to hear that. I truly love kids, and especially am
burdened for pre-teen, teenage girls since I remember vividly what a hard age
that is (Thank God that once the teenage years are over they are OVER for
good). To hear someone else who had never before seen me around children tell
me that she noticed IMMEDIATELY that I had a rapport with them was such a
blessing.
Now, I'm not viewing everything through tinted glasses. I realize that working
in a normal facility will be very different than meeting the two young sisters
of a friend. But it still served to affirm my belief that I am somehow called
to work with young people.
God consistently serves to strengthen me for His purpose. Praise God!
Rachel Sep 17 2005, 06:01 PM Post #11
Today I met with 10 girls from a residential facility near my school. They came
onto campus, and three of us students had lunch with them, talked with them and
showed them around the campus.
It was hard. Some of the girls looked blank, others were obviously in pain and
were desperate for someone to talk to them and show attention to them. Most of
them, however, portrayed themselves as "just fine." One of them, in particular,
had an amazingly well done facade---everything was ok. She was ok, the facility
was ok, life was great---despite the fact that I'm pretty sure she was
pregnant. Every once in awhile I thought I saw the scared young 16 year old and
my heart went out to her.
Sometimes I didn't know what to say. What do they need to hear? I just tried to
talk to them during the little time we had, show some interest and try to
express to them that there are people who care for them. One of the girls
seemed starved for attention and I sat with her for a few minutes during one of
our stops and talked with her about what she's going to do when she's released
tomorrow. She got this huge grin on her face and talked about seeing her dogs
again, and playing with her nephew.
Several of them, though, seemed to humor me...they answered my questions and
were friendly, but didn't really show much interest.
Those few hours made me want even more to be involved in a ministry of that
sort. As soon as I got back I emailed the director of the facility I've been
talking about, asking her about volunteer opportunities.
Anyway, just wanted to share
sandylegsntoes Sep 18 2005, 04:33 PM Post #12
Hi again Rachael,
Profs are teaching in sociology class that the 'young adulthood' nowadays can
begin in the early 40's. When you come across peoiple your age who seem
'immature' remember that each has their own life experiences. I've found that
many students in college don't know what 'real life' is because they've been
provided for by parents, scholarships or grants. As you know, book smarts
doesn't equal life smarts.
Remember what I wrote to you about knowing the Will of God in your life. We
must read and memorize His Word to be able to do this. Sometimes God will speak
to us through a friends wisdom, but that wisdom is always preceeded by you
hearing from God first...in His Word, through waiting to hear from Him after
prayer and through the gift of discernment.
Press On!
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