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What would you do?
momof10 Jul 8 2005, 06:54 PM Post #1
Some of the kids on campus went on an Independent Living trip sponsored by the
state. Part of the trip consisted of a scavenger hunt to the Health Department
(and other agencies.) I am not sure if it was part of the hunt, but some of the
boys received condoms. The housemom tried calling the chain of command but
since it was Friday, nobody is here. We are funded mostly by the state but a
lot is from a denomination which probably believes we are moral and ethical.
What would you do as a houseparent? Would you take away the condoms? Would it
be a double standard as some of our girls are on birth control (which I
disagree in also.) Just wanted to get your take on things. Thanks!
Kristina
edx0487 Jul 8 2005, 07:02 PM Post #2
I'd take them away. And then repeat the sessions on why abstinence is best...
(I've not seen this yet so don't know how good it is, but apparently the
facility does run them)
We also try to keep close track of our kids "associations" in order to not
provide opportunity to need them!
CaringCouple Jul 9 2005, 09:42 AM Post #3
Absolutely not.
It would most definitely present a double standard but the youth entrusted to
our care are not OURS.
They have a right to the information and options presented them.
You can guide them as well as inform them but your opinion is yours and others
have opinions as well.
Speak to their Case workers and Family members and look to what the Family's
views are as well.
Condoms are readily available in schools, youth centers and on.
You are living in the Dark Ages and trying to keep kids there as well if you
are trying to keep these kids isolated from these type of issues.
momof10 Jul 9 2005, 12:05 PM Post #4
Oh, just go ahead and make a comfy room for them to go have s*x in too while
you are at it...
I don't believe that you are keeping the kids in the "Dark Ages" if you
appropriately talk to the kids about s*x. Does our younger kids need to be
initiated too??? Today while one of our boys were cleaning out the van that
they used on this outing, there was a pamphlet about or*l s*x. Just what I
wanted our young boys to find out about. Yes, we talk to them about it. Yes, I
know it is out there and they probably know WAY too much but can't they be boys
instead of men? Times are changing but they don't have to. If you take a stand,
it might make a difference. People wonder why our world is going down the
tubes, well this is one contribution...
Can ya tell I am passionate about this???
CaringCouple Jul 9 2005, 11:14 PM Post #5
I never suggested that you do not talk to them or present them with
alternatives as well as your viewpoints.
Your overreacting a bit.
It is good to be passionate but don't let your passion undermine your work.
Let a kid find out that he has been kept from information or services he is
entitled to and you will lose not only his trust but very possibly all the work
you have put into him/her up to that point.
I am Catholic and raised 3 daughters and have 2 Granddaughters. My personal
beliefs on the subject probably mirror yours.
However there is much to be concerned with in the care of children entrusted to
us and there are many times that the rights of the children in our care as well
as their families will require you to put your personal beliefs aside.
Let an organization that is presenting options to these kids find out you are
isolating them or taking away from them information they already were either
commissioned to provide or arranged to provide and you'll place your program at
risk. Especially if you are taking any state or federal money.
If you approach them with a close mind they simply will shut you out when they
look to make decisions.
And you certainly want to be able to have their trust to come to you even with
difficult decisions that you might not like.
CaringCouple Jul 9 2005, 11:21 PM Post #6
And I think your extremely overboard with the idea that our world is going down
the tubes because Agencies present Birth Control options to youth.
I worked most recently with Teenage boys from the streets of Los Angeles.
Many would go home to their families and the streets of LA on weekends even
though it was against our advice and putside of our programs desired structure.
A common occurrence of ganglife is "jumping in" new members and associated
female gangs indoctrinating a new girl might make that young lady be gang
banged by the boys of their affiliated gang.
Unfortunately we had kids live one life with us and a different life at home.
I would rather they had condoms and the understanding of how to use them
properly than to not.
That's the reality of some of this work.
We can teach the kids and give them choices while they are with us but we have
to remain understanding to the reality of the life they often return to.
momof10 Jul 10 2005, 12:36 PM Post #7
I apologize as I should have made myself more clear. We are church run home and
I guess I am just disappointed in the stance of our administration on this
issue. This is the real issue. Do we take a stand for God or are we going to be
lukewarm and blow wherever the "state" wants to take us.
prsthelrd Jul 10 2005, 05:58 PM Post #8
I think if the rules of the facility allow them to have the condoms then you
have to be very careful if you take them away. If the home does not allow them
then I would have to say they need to be picked up.
This issue is a major argument between people in the business.
When you have your personal moral beliefs and the rules and guidelines set
before you. I believe firmly in abstinence. It is my choice though where I
work. I have to make sure I am aware of the policies of the home and then pray
and ask God where He would have me.
We can not go somewhere knowing the policy thinking we can change it. If we are
unaware of the policy and find out later that it is different then our own
beliefs then God has to tell you to stay or go.
momof10 Jul 10 2005, 07:35 PM Post #9
The problem is that there is no policy regarding this and so far, we have not
gotten any answer from administration. I suppose that by working for a
"Christian" agency, we would uphold God's desire but hey, I might be wrong! You
are right, where you work is a choice and one I might have to make soon but we
shall see...
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