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Decision of a lifetime., Becoming houseparents for
the first time
smoothlyranranch Jul 9 2005, 12:14 AM Post #1
I am 48 and my husband is 53. He has a job as an assistant manager of a grocery
store. He also drives a school bus so that we can have insurance. He is also a
pastor of a small church and has been so since 1988. I stay at home and am
slightly disabled with a nerve disease called Neuropathy. Some days are bad,
some are so so and some are THANK YOU, JESUS! We have a daughter who has just
graduated from college and one entering her second year of college. Basically,
we are in a rut at present and we like it. But my husband is working so hard
and we have about 2 hours a day to spend together, and that's if he doesn't
fall asleep. At our church, we have spent many years dealing with children and
the color and scratches they add to our world. I have also been a Girl Scout
leader and homeschooled for 7 years. In other words, we are very use to
children and teenagers and feel we are very capable at working with them. We
have been offered a job as houseparents at a youth ranch. This is a ranch where
the children cannot live at home for some reason, often no fault of their own.
Each cottage can have 10 children, and that includes the houseparents children.
It is a brand-new ranch so the kinks aren't worked out; it will take about a
year. The pay is equal to what my husband makes at his assistant manager's job.
As for insurance, which we must have, after 3 months you pay 1/2 of the
premiums. After you've been there a year, you pay only 10% of the
premium...AWESOME. They also have a retirement plan that will match at least up
to 5% of your yearly income. My husband would have to keep driving the school
bus until our other insurance kicks in. He says he might as well drive it for
another year. I don't know if I could handle the cottage while the kids get
ready for school and the 2 hours they come home in the afternoon. That's scary.
Also, you only get paid once a month. We're use to getting paid every Saturday.
It is on a 265-acre ranch with a pond/lake, horse arena, woodworking shop,
automotive shop, gym w/cafeteria, a huge guest lodge and we would be living in
a 3-bedroom apartment which is attached to the cottage, which is really not a
cottage it is at least 2500 square foot house, complete with a huge pantry and
a kitchen that all women would die for. At present we would be responsible for
taking the kids to their appointments and basically anywhere they had to go
until the ranch can hire people to do that job. We are expected to prepare at
least one meal a day for the kids. And they have to attend at least one church
service a week. My husband will continue to pastor, so they will probably be
attending more than once a week. You might wonder why we're having trouble
making up our minds. Well, I'm just wondering what folks think about us being
so use to not doing a whole lot and being in a rut. How hard would it be to
take on this job being a mother and father to up to 10 boys or 10 girls.
Remember, our days consist of watching Bonanza while we eat our lunch and then
going back to work, then coming home and watching a little more t.v. and then
going to bed. Although, we have raised 2 daughters, could we wonderful parents
to the kids at the ranch? We've talked in length to the houseparents that are
presently living in one of the cottages and they had a lot of valuable stories
to tell us. But it seems from where we stand, that these houseparenting jobs
require a great deal physically and mentally and emotionally. Please, I need
any feedback. My husband is 53. It's not that easy for a 53 year old man to
find work, if we were unable to be houseparents. WE have to make up our minds
in about another week.
CaringCouple Jul 9 2005, 09:37 AM Post #2
Because of your stated condition I think you should spend some time visiting
and talking with other women that already are house parents. Have you disclosed
that to the administration?
No matter what is said about support the only one you can ever truly count on
is your husband and vice versa.
You will be up before the crack of dawn and the stress and pressure of your
days can be unrelenting as you deal with the needs of children with issues you
have not comprehended.
I would be surprised if there is the time in the schedule to allow your husband
to still drive the school bus.
It takes 2 people working together in unison to get a house off to school in
the morning and to be there for them when they return.
It is far less about being a mother and father than most think. Especially with
the youth coming into placement these days.
momof10 Jul 9 2005, 12:37 PM Post #3
It sounds like a great place to be. While I think your desire is great, I am
not sure if your husband would be able to do the other jobs. I know that here,
there is a staff/child ratio that is 6 kids to one staff member and you would
not be keeping that.
What you could do is look into other children's homes that have less kids.
There are a lot of jobs available on the jobs board so take a look to see what
is out there.
One thing to consider is whether you would be working with girls or boys. Since
I work with boys, my husband is the primary caretaker of them. I just can't go
in their room whenever etc. Same goes for the girls cottages - the women are
the primary then. I try never to be one on one with any boy and I know all of
the husbands are NEVER alone with the girls. Just too much could happen or be
said. Our Children's Home offers assistants to come help so if you were able to
have help in the morning and afternoon that would be great. Only thing is,
sometimes assistants could be more of a bother than a help.
Just some food for thought!
Kristina
samiam1968 Jul 9 2005, 02:30 PM Post #4
Wow, it sounds like a pretty good deal, if you can handle it. My Husband and I
have talked about going into this type of a situation after our own children
are grown. I work currently at a home for girls, I work 3.5 days on and 3.5
days off. I know while I am at work it is great during the school year but
harder during the summer. We have 3 staff on at all times and a group worker
during the summer and on weekends. This can be the best job in the world and it
can be one of the most challanging. My concern would be what would happen if
you discover after 3-4 months it isn't for you and need to go back to your
other life style. Is there any way you could start as relief parents? go in for
a weekend to give other parents a break? Just a thought...
RobertSmithe Jul 9 2005, 08:02 PM Post #5
The situation could possibly work. However I strongly doubt it could be done in
addition to two other jobs. If insurance is an issue, there are many places
that start with insurance on your first day of employment. If you have only
looked at one program, it might not hurt to look at some other programs so that
you have something to compare it to.
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