Ruth|Just getting started|64.217.181.228|yes||1015129045|

My husband and I are 44 years old. Our daughters are all married and grown. We have been working with teens for about 15 years. We really see God's gifting in our work with the teens.
Now that our girls are grown, we've been talking about what we would like to do. Most of our 25 years were spent making decisions around the family and the girls. This is the first time we can choose what we'd like to do.

We're very interested in becoming house parents. We have a proven track record in our own family and very positive relationships with teens in the last 20 years. We have finally allowed ourselves to admit that we're just not materially oriented. We have a passion for relationships, not things.

My husband has an engineering degree and I've worked with Josh McDowell's ministry, Living Alternatives and in various professional positions over the years.

How do we begin this journey?

Thanks in advance,

Ruth in Texas

webmaster|Just getting started|216.131.5.101|yes|yes|1015263319|

You need to have an idea of what kind of care you wish to get into. Behavioral Modification, Basic Care, Maternity. And what kind of facility State Funded or Private funded. There are advantages and Disadvantages to both. There are hundreds of places to work, it is just a matter of finding what fits.

Then start inquiring with facilities that meet your criteria, their websites are a great resource in figuring what type of facility they are. Before you accept a position spend as much time as you can at the facility. We like to stay at least over night, to get a good idea of how the facility operates. Most facilities will accommodate that.

Max|Just getting started|65.170.38.10|yes|yes|1039901303|

Ruth,

Please be fully aware that houseparenting doesn't always carry the bonds that regular parenting provides. Often people come to the field expecting the children will be thankful, happy to have them and loving - Instead, when often the new limits are so shocking to the child, they rebell.

In nearly all houseparenting settings you can expect to be yelled at, possibly hit, threatened and in some cases you can be hurt. I have not seen a killing in houseparenting though.

No one will tell you in an interview that these things might happen with the teens you'll encounter. They will hint at it, but....

The training you get will tell you how to deal with such happenings, but it is hard the first few years to remember the training when your heart is thumping and you are afraid.

If you stay in houseparenting long enough, you'll get very good at handling these things. Sad, but most folks don't stay long enough in this field to "get good."

The webmaster here has an amusing little cartoon on being a houseparent that is EXTREMELY accurate.

Read it and believe it. If you see nothing that upsets you (including the little bomb under the houseparent's seat) then this might be for you.