The Houseparent Network

What Every Houseparent Needs to Know!
or
I Wish Somebody Would Have Told Me!
Part Two

3. Administrators are a Pain!! No matter where you are or what kind of facility you work for, you will find that the vast majority of administrators are a pain in the neck! The reasons for this are:

1. A lot of administrators have never been houseparents. They go to school and learn all these theories, then come and tell you how to put them into practice, without really understanding what you go through on a daily basis.

2. State regulations, policies, and court systems cause them to sometimes have to do things that aren't good for the houseparent, program or child.

3. People have different parenting styles - Administrators are people and all people are different. Even with the best, you will not always agree and have to do something you don't want to and that is a pain.

I have worked with many different administrators, some have been a royal pain in the neck. Makes you want to wear one of those collars. The good one's are just a dull pain, kind of like a mosquito bite, stings when it happens, itches for a while. But, all were a pain in some way.

4. Children are a Pain! If you have your own children you already know this - If you don't, you soon will.

Even the best, most well behaved children can be a pain sometimes. Kids that come from broken and very dysfunctional families even more so!

My wife and I grew up in not the best of families. My wife was abused by her father. My birth parents divorced when I was two. My adopted father was an alcoholic and physically abusive. I got involved with stuff as a teenager that had I been caught would have surely put me in placement.

We became Christians about six years ago, got our lives in order and decided to give back to society. We became houseparents and thought we could love these kids and give them everything we didn't receive as children and they will just turn their lives around. The problem is they didn't care what we went through and in most cases chose to continue to be the way they were. They lie, cheat, steal, cuss, abuse substances, do poorly in school. They can be sexually inappropriate and a host of other things.

Reading my list you would think that residential child-care was the worst career choice anybody could make. For some, that may be true. But, I can hardly think of a better way to make a difference.

Few houseparents can't name at least one child that has turned their life around while in their care and consider them part of their family. One other reason to become a houseparent in-spite of all the problems comes from a good houseparent friend of mine that is now a pain in the neck administrator. Many times in staff meeting we would ask ourselves why we even bother? His response always was, "If we don't give of our lives and care for these kids, WHO WILL?

Check back for additions to this list. I will also welcome input from other houseparents to include in this list.

Go To Part One Go To Part Three